The Mom Days Are Oooover

Thank you Florence Welch, for giving me something to easily change the lyrics to and belt out as I raced down 66E yesterday to return to my urban life as a 20something lush. For the past week (and two weekends) I played surrogate mom to my 14 yr old brother while my parents were on vacation... just sailing the Caribbean with their friends, snorkeling with giant sea turtles, spotting 50ft whales with their babies, and drinking the unlimited booze provided on the catamaran. Leaving me at home to put food on the table, make sure the dog got walked, and my brother didn't burn the house down. Tougher than it sounds.

Reasons I'm Not Planning On Being a Mother in the Near Future:
- The police came to my house when I arranged for the neighbor to walk the dog. Forgot to tell him we recently installed an alarm system. Whooops.
- After enjoying the nice 2 hour school delay (and thus work delay) Tuesday, I came home to find men's boot prints walking up to both front doors and outside the window into the garage. Thank god for that alarm system and the 4 bottles of wine my mom left for me.
- After a particularly stressful day, I ordered pad thai for dinner... and finished the entire container by myself for dinner. My 14 yr old brother then lectured me about getting fat. As he helped himself to a giant ice cream sundae. Hypocrite. [for further proof, keep reading]
- After sacrificing my weekends, my brother ditched me most nights to hang out with his friends. Leading me to drink copious amounts of said wine and snuggle with my dog. I'm Mr. Lonelyyyy.

Reasons I Enjoy My Urban Life as a 20something:
- Gas. Get it together Libya because you're really fucking things up for the carpooling mom. And me. I used so much gas getting him to after school activities. But those automatic car washes in suburbia are fantastic!
- Wine. No one judges me for my routine 1-4 glasses of wine before bed.
- Warmth. My apartment is cozy. My house is drafty. I aged fifty years having to cover up with 3 snuggies and a space heater just to watch a DVR'd crime drama.
- Sweet, sweet Freedom. Duh.

Thisiswhymomsarefat.com:
- We made microwavable brownies. The batch lasted 23 hours. Not even a full day.
- I brought home 6 georgetown cupcakes. Those lasted a day and a half. We were only 2 people.
- I not only allowed, but encouraged, my brother to make nutella bagels for breakfast. When we realized he finished the container in less than a week, we did a calorie count. He averaged an extra 800 calories a DAY from the nutella.
- When he wasn't eating the above mentioned desserts, he was making giant ass ice cream sundaes.
- Pinkberry Fro Yo.
- Angel chicken, shepherd's pie, pulled pork, tubs of brie, and cabernet.

But it wasn't all bad. I got in a few makeout sessions with my pup (against my will, Murphy uses a lot of tongue to wake a sister up), cuddled by the fireplace daily, lost 1.5 lbs overindulging on my mom's food and desserts, and spent some solid QT with my brother.

I discovered this song at his Best of Show concert and am letting it put me to sleep tonight, instead of those 1-4 glasses of wine. (Ok, ok I still had those 1-4 glasses but it was book club!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vdw4e4b940

Eye Candy

I got new eyeglasses last week. Picking out frames is not fun when you're in a winter coat and the store is 85 degrees. I literally tried on 85% of the frames in the store (leaving out the bifocals and gramp shades) before deciding on the last pair I tried on.

Unfortunately, in that 15% I glazed over, I missed the perfect pair. I can't believe I didn't see these until after...

The Sarah Palin glasses. I bet you can see Russia through them.

Instead, I settled on these diva shades. Oh well, next time.

Shit is Bananas

I was trying to figure out exactly why my minifeed was so nauseating this Valentine's Day, compared to years past. Seemingly normal people totally lost their sense of normalcy yesterday with vomit-inducing statuses and mobile uploaded flowers/chocolate pics. I think its due, in large part, to the prevelance of mobile uploads. Everyone and their grandma has a smart phone and knows how to upload pics easily. (Well, maybe thats just my grandma, but she's ballin all over fb).

Mobile Uploads I Never Want To See:
- Your flowers. They're not special, as you can tell, 75% of the facebook population got some.
- Worse, a close up of the card and personal message that came with the flowers. Really?!
- You and your new fiance, showing off your engagement ring in front of a Christmas Tree. Twas a seriously cliche time to propose.
- 15 different pictures of your dog in various sleeping positions
- Your MySpace pics.

Mobile Uploads I Appreciate:
- An up-close picture of your engagement ring on your hand. Even a follow up pic or two from different angles. I gots to know why you said yes so young.
- 1 or 2 pics of your pup. I do want to see your dog, just not a daily update of them cuddling on the couch.

And just to show you I'm not a cranky love-hating cynic, I'm posting some REAL statuses I saw yesterday (grammar and punctuation copied exactly)...

"<3 Happy Valentines Day <3 happily lovin the cutest boy I know <3"

"baby you my everything, you all I ever wanted.. I love you. Happy valentines day."

"OMG. I  <3 VALENTINES DAY"

"Happy valentines day people! Mine was great :) "

"I hope everyone had a great day...my day sucked! i dont feel special at all :`-( i hope your boyfriends/girlfriends or husbands/wives showed you how special u are today"

"valentine's dinner with my FIRST and last valentine, [name redacted for privacy, hehe] :) <3"

"guys with gfs shuld just put their nuts in a jar and give that as their present... soo pathetic"

"girl next to me on the treadmill got flowers delivered to her mid-workout... like seriously?"

"i love love :) happy valentines day"

"KPMG stole my boyfriend. Celebrating with a heart shaped pizza from Papa John's"

"I have heartburn on valentines day. Ironic."

Ray's

With avid fans like Obama, Biden, and Mendelov, Ray's Hellburger has become an Arlington staple. It's also a staple in my day-to-day when I begin my commute with the smell of burger grease at 8am. Trust me, I'm not complaining, its a fantastic smell.

This weekend, I tried Ray's two spin-offs: Ray's the Steaks, and Ray's Hellburger TOO. Yea, it's a lot of red meat. But we were trying to get PHO pho lunch Sunday, and the line was out the door and crowded outside. I guess people really missed their PHO during Tet. So Ray's Hellburger TOO it was.

Ray's the Steaks

First of all, Ray's the Steaks lists their address as 2300 N. Wilson. NOT true. They're on Clarendon Blvd. (Irritating). I wish I could find a menu online to give you food descriptions, but there isn't one. And my date wouldn't let me take pictures of my meal... who knew I was the embarrassing one?

We started with the Devishly Good Eggs. These are not yo momma's deviled eggs. They come stuffed with steak tartare and drizzled with a yoke/hollandaise-like sauce, and they're delicious. I don't usually like steak tartare, but definitely reccommend trying those.

I had the Steak Diablo, but I was more excited about the creamed spinach and the mashed potatos sides. I'm not much of a steak person, but it was good. Max had the hangar steak, which made me want to be a steak person. It looks like my arm, but tastes so so so good.

My other favorite thing: the wine list. 30 bottles under $30. I like where your heads at, Ray. And for you eco freaks (I say that with love), Ray had a giant grass fed cow slaughtered at a local farm and is serving 34-40oz portions on the cheap, relatively (between 30-40$), but the portions are meant to be shared. For the last 2 weeks of that cow's life, he was given a beer based diet. For the last two weeks of my life, can I get a beer based diet?

As for pricing, Max and I spent the same amount two weeks ago at Outback. I don't know what that says about us... maybe that the melon margaritas and the bloomin' onion were a bit unncessary. But Ray's was worth it. Plus, the guido couple dressed in matching red outfits sitting next to us were priceless.

I'll give you a sample...
Girl: "Babe, babe. Do you want to share a steak? What kind of steak do I like? I like it medium, right?"
Boy: "Babe... I don't care. Just stop talking, I'm reading the menu."

Ray's Hellburger TOO

If you haven't been to either burger place, do yourself a favor and go. TOO is a sit down, and has more options than beef... buffalo, turkey, boar, veggies. I had the veggie sammy which comes with a huge portabello mushroom, grilled zucchini, and roasted red pepper with fresh mozzarella, with the same fantastic grill juices and smell of the burgers. Delicious, and I can't wait to have the other half for dinner tonight.

Seven Cheese Mac: Max ordered this, but I ate it. I want more.

Cheesecake Milkshake: Unfortunate part about having a lactose intolerant boyfriend: I can't order a milkshake and pretend its to share. I'm like the only girlfriend out there who hasn't gone on a fro yo/ice cream/milkshake date ever. So, I passive aggressively demanded the waitress find out all possible flavors before I indulged. I should have shouted two tables over and asked what they were having because it looked amazing. But I held back, and wish I didn't.

So in summary: I have all the leftovers in my fridge, and will be dining off Ray's for the next 3 days. Oh hells yes.

Things that Make the Rockin' World Go Round

Yea I know. This blog has no coherence, a week delay between posts, and entirely too many photos without text. But hey, I did make it a resolution to take more photos. Well, this post isn't going to be any different. Check out some things I like.

Frye Boots ON SALE. Like serious sale. 

These, and the flower smell that wafted to my favorite spot on the couch.

Little Pup. 

Glad these puppies are making a comeback, in mah belly.

Cutest Face EVERRRRRR. Must. Have.

Oh, and Fat Bottomed Girls was just featured on the Valentine's Day episode of Glee. Holla.