The Mom Days Are Oooover

Thank you Florence Welch, for giving me something to easily change the lyrics to and belt out as I raced down 66E yesterday to return to my urban life as a 20something lush. For the past week (and two weekends) I played surrogate mom to my 14 yr old brother while my parents were on vacation... just sailing the Caribbean with their friends, snorkeling with giant sea turtles, spotting 50ft whales with their babies, and drinking the unlimited booze provided on the catamaran. Leaving me at home to put food on the table, make sure the dog got walked, and my brother didn't burn the house down. Tougher than it sounds.

Reasons I'm Not Planning On Being a Mother in the Near Future:
- The police came to my house when I arranged for the neighbor to walk the dog. Forgot to tell him we recently installed an alarm system. Whooops.
- After enjoying the nice 2 hour school delay (and thus work delay) Tuesday, I came home to find men's boot prints walking up to both front doors and outside the window into the garage. Thank god for that alarm system and the 4 bottles of wine my mom left for me.
- After a particularly stressful day, I ordered pad thai for dinner... and finished the entire container by myself for dinner. My 14 yr old brother then lectured me about getting fat. As he helped himself to a giant ice cream sundae. Hypocrite. [for further proof, keep reading]
- After sacrificing my weekends, my brother ditched me most nights to hang out with his friends. Leading me to drink copious amounts of said wine and snuggle with my dog. I'm Mr. Lonelyyyy.

Reasons I Enjoy My Urban Life as a 20something:
- Gas. Get it together Libya because you're really fucking things up for the carpooling mom. And me. I used so much gas getting him to after school activities. But those automatic car washes in suburbia are fantastic!
- Wine. No one judges me for my routine 1-4 glasses of wine before bed.
- Warmth. My apartment is cozy. My house is drafty. I aged fifty years having to cover up with 3 snuggies and a space heater just to watch a DVR'd crime drama.
- Sweet, sweet Freedom. Duh.

Thisiswhymomsarefat.com:
- We made microwavable brownies. The batch lasted 23 hours. Not even a full day.
- I brought home 6 georgetown cupcakes. Those lasted a day and a half. We were only 2 people.
- I not only allowed, but encouraged, my brother to make nutella bagels for breakfast. When we realized he finished the container in less than a week, we did a calorie count. He averaged an extra 800 calories a DAY from the nutella.
- When he wasn't eating the above mentioned desserts, he was making giant ass ice cream sundaes.
- Pinkberry Fro Yo.
- Angel chicken, shepherd's pie, pulled pork, tubs of brie, and cabernet.

But it wasn't all bad. I got in a few makeout sessions with my pup (against my will, Murphy uses a lot of tongue to wake a sister up), cuddled by the fireplace daily, lost 1.5 lbs overindulging on my mom's food and desserts, and spent some solid QT with my brother.

I discovered this song at his Best of Show concert and am letting it put me to sleep tonight, instead of those 1-4 glasses of wine. (Ok, ok I still had those 1-4 glasses but it was book club!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vdw4e4b940